Couples Therapy

Weekly Sessions

When working with couples, I require weekly sessions in length from 45 minutes to 90 minutes. Many couples are able to make progress with 45-minute sessions, but not all. With a longer session, therapy usually moves faster and is often more effective. We will know, pretty early on if you need a longer session and will discuss together to make a plan.

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Couples often find that they have arguments with a common theme, over and over. Usually, the this happens because partners aren’t fully understanding each other’s meaning under the surface. When triggered, our brain (ironically) gets in the way of our understanding. Here’s why: the alarm system in the brain goes off, and connection to the prefrontal cortex becomes limited.  However, to be successful in communication, the prefrontal cortex must be active so that we can hear our partners effectively while at the same time regulating our own emotions. This is critical to keep our attention on what is being said, rather than formulating a rebuttal.

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In couples counseling, I use a very effective method that fosters honest communication between partners. From the first session, I make emotional safety a priority because without that, it’s impossible to move forward. 

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My Approach
With couples therapy, I assess your unique relationship strengths and weaknesses, so that we can begin moving forward in a way that feels good. Like a garden, relationship work if often knowing where weeds tend to grow and instead intentionally planting something more desirable. It’s easier, quicker, and much less painful to do the weeding in an atmosphere of emotional safety with a skilled gardener.